Why is what I do...NOT THE NORM!?!

(This was a blog written by a great friend of mine...my additions are in white)


This is Tupperware.

There is nothing remarkable about it, and definitely no reason for people to fear it. It is simply a container used to store food. It has no evil agenda to speak of, and should be allowed to pass unnoticed. So why is it whenever I break it out to eat my pre-prepared food, people literally FREAK OUT?!

Why...why freak out...no oine seems to freak out when they see TO GO boxes and containers...makes you wonder?

Then there is a natural progression....
Stage one is the questions stage…”whatcha got in there?” “Are you on a diet?”
Stage two is the excuses stage…”I wish I had time to prepare my food.” “Doesn’t matter what I eat, I can’t lose weight.”
three is the rationalization stage…”It’s too expensive to eat like that.” “I can go to Taco Bell and get 3 meals for $10”.

Usually after Stage three they stop their rant because they have finally realized that I haven’t really acknowledged anything that they have said, and have finished eating. Honestly, they didn’t really want a response from me, they just wanted to remind themselves why they CAN’T do what I am doing.

My most favorite line is, "I didn't know eating healthy could smell sooo good." Well, why don't you try it and shut up then!


But let’s look at their motivation. Why do they care what I eat?! SERIOUSLY?! If I go with friends to a restaurant and they order the double bacon burger with extra bacon…do I say anything?! Nope, cause I really don’t care. In fact if I am at a table full of people that have just supersized their meal, why are all eyes on me when I order something “healthy”?! It really is a sad commentary on us as a society, when the one person in the group that wants to improve themselves, rather than bitch about why they can’t, is questioned.

It really is like the alcoholic that wants you to drink with them. They know they are weak willed and want you to mirror their actions so they don’t actually have to look at themselves with disappointment. Whenever someone tries to better themselves, other people, who lack the discipline to do the same attempt to pull them back to the pack. We as a society continue to cater to the lowest common denominator. It’s kind of like the joy some people take when celebrities get caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. “Hey look, Random Rock Star is just as screwed up as me….I now feel better about my mediocre existence.”


This is the most annoying, people seem to think I don't drink because I train. No people, I don't drink because I don't like the taste or smell, not to mention I could think of other ways to spend my hard earned money!


How sad is that?!

I'm a college gal...AGAIN!!

Monday I started my prereqs for the starting of my new journey!!  There are 8 classes, but I only have 5 to take. Each class is course intensive and online. Each class is only 4 weeks, with a midterm and final, along with open discussions (u have to participate in) and yep...research and term papers to write!! Am I crazy...nah...just want to get htem done and over with. Then I get an 8 month break til my Program course begins for 6 months in class course work and then 10 months clinical work!!

I have been blessed with a job while going after my next career goal. They are completely behind me as a single mom and supporting me as I go back to college!! It is such a HUGE blessing!

So...I will try and get on here as often as I can, but it might be a week in between...unless somethign really needs ot be written!! LOL!!

Being in the "SINGLE" category makes me realize...

That I truly want to stay in it!! Isn't that sad!!

I was having a talk today with some girl friends and I came to this conclusion...for us SINGLE females, there are only 2 TYPES of guys out there....the ones who want you as "Just Friends w/ Benefits" or the extreme opposite..."It's the all or nothing, lets jump into a serious relationship NOW". What happened to the in between??  See I have also come to realize that guys could careless WHAT catergory they are in...AS LONG AS "THEY" are IN "YOU"!!

Then there is the whole..."well you wouldn't buy a car and not test drive it first" line! Let's see, the last time I checked, the guy I go out on date with isn't spending over $20,000 on or for me. And neither one of us is bringing a LIFETIME guarantee into this, hell we'd be lucky for an extended warranty! LOL!! This though is what I have learned...if a guy doesn't kiss me great...and I mean...gives me butterflies, makes me weak and makes me NOT want the kiss to ever stop...HE IS NOT GONNA BE GOOD AT ANYTHING ELSE!!

And one other thing I have learned....guys are complete cowards. Ya know the ones...the ones who will make up every excuse in the book as to why they couldn't approach you. Rejection...blah blah blah...SERIOUSLY...who flippin' cares...everyone is gonna be rejected by someone, grow up and get some self-esteem! If you don't ask...you never know. I'd rather know than play the damn what if game!!

Oh and now that I brought up games...HA!! I love this one best!!! Ya know the guys who say they don't want drama and are sick of the games. THEY ARE THE ONES TO WATCH OUT FOR! They just think they have perfected them...and I love it when I call the out...hee hee...I WIN! LOL! Also...I am blunt honest...I tell a guy right up front what I will NOT put up with it...and how I am. And I always say if you don't like it...there's the door, no one is making you stay.  All say that it is what makes them like me...but when they get caught doing something I won't put up with and I show them the door and turn off all emotions...I get called a cold hearted bitch...hmmm...funny, I guess they forgot what I said in the beginning! Oh well, my life continues!!

Ok...enough of the single gal talk!!

P.S. Don't get me wrong, do I want a relationship, sure...but I don't NEED one!! :)

I will NEVER understand...

I will NEVER understand one thing. How can someone say they sincerely apologize for what they did, but follow it with "in my heart I don't believe I did anything". Doesn't the last statement take back the sincere apology? How can you be sorry for something you believe you didn't do?

Now I know you can believe you did nothing wrong and apologize for how you made the person feel. But to say the word BUT after an apology, is a slap in the face all over again. You might as well just say "you are not worth an apology and I don't care if I hurt your feelings." It's just as bad when people add BUT after saying I love you.

I do believe in saying the word BUT after I love you...only though when you are doing it for the better, I will give an example. I can love someone or even be IN love with them, but if they cheat on me or physically/emotionally abuse me, I'm out! So here is what I say "I love you, BUT I love me more."

Now a days there are soooo many people in relationships to fill a void, an empty space. They don't even love themselves, and if that is true, there is NO WAY you can love someone else FULLY!

Over the past couple of months, I have learned to fall in love with me. I am in love with an amazing person, who goes after the impossible (and makes it possible), that never gives up (if I fall or stumble, I getup and dust myself off and continue on), that strives for a better day every day (what else do you have to lose), who smiles through tears (and pain), who thinks of others before themselves (but not to the point of being a doormat), who will do anything for their child (yes, ANYTHING), who believes that there is no word as CAN'T or NEVER (too many people...like Doctors...throw these words out there not realizing the damaging outcome it is doing), who encourages and supports people they know and even perfect strangers (I pray that my words are encouragement...you never know who you might make an impact on)....So yes I love me...and here's the thing...it makes me not NEED someone to love me. Do I WANT someone...sure...who doesn't, but I want someone who makes me even better, who I can share this thing we call life with. But if that never happens...I already have the greatest of all loves...the love of my Heavenly Father!!

OMG!!! It's happening!!! STOKED!!!

The beginning of my new life, my new career is starting. My new venture and journey officially begins Monday!!! I am soooo stoked, a tad nervous, but I couldn't be more blessed!! I already have been blessed to live out one dream and passion of mine. Though that dreamed turned into a nightmare, it also was a HUGE blessing in disguise!! My new journey will give me more time with my daughter, which to me is ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!

I am also back on a training schedule. I am so blessed to have Amanda, not only be training with me, but encouraging me, motivating me, and praying for me. I always believed that God put certain people in your life for a reason...an awful situation led me to meeting Amanda, and from there our friendship blossomed and I couldn't be more blessed!!

My life is good and I am loving it...and I love that God let me go through all the obstacles and climb all those mountains, so I can appreciate even the smallest of things!! I recently got out of a really unhealthy relationship, God also showed me that I don't deserve to settle, that people will say things to ONLY make you feel the way they do. God also made me see that I am going to be having a full plate for the next 2 1/2 years and I need to focus myself and my energy on that and most importantly my daughter. There is NOTHING more important than that!!!

So sick of people opening their mouths and spewing garbage!!

I am so sick of inhumane individuals!!! Seriously you all need to get a life and shut the hell up!!

You see, I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been the overweight girl, the one who every guy wants to pretend to be friends with to get close to her "skinny" friends. I have heard ALL the rude, critical comments people can make...from "you'd be soooo much prettier if you only lost weight" to "you will never find happiness or a man cuz you are fat".

REALLY!?!?!?

And now that I have lost weight and have got healthy...now I get the opposite...sometimes I wonder which is worse!! I had a EX-friend of mine from my heavy days ask me to REGAIN my weight cuz when we went out, she no longer got all the attention (can we say shallow)! I have people tell me now that I am TOO skinny and that I have to stop losing weight to just make others happy (i.e., a guy). Or my favorite...the guys that knew me before, who come to me now wanting to date me! Seriously...get a clue!!

You see, I am the same EXACT person I was at 275 as I am at 145!! If anything, I am MUCH wiser and don't put up with the BS people dish out!!

This is what I think about people who critice and down graded the people around them. THEY ARE THE ONES WITH ISSUES!! THEY are the ones who are shallow, have low self esteem and are unhappy!

You see it wasn't that I wanted to be heavy, but life circumstances got to me. I had 2 serious car accidents that left me in a lot of pain. I also had a really bad relationship that caused some crap too. It didn't matter if someone said negative crap to me or postively lifted me up everyday. I was stuck in this rut...but I liked it there...at the time I felt safe. Well, then my turning point came. And it came out all on its own and that's when I realized I needed to start making changes in my life for the better...FOR ME...not for anyone else. Though those changes would start affecting the people around me, the biggest...MY DAUGHTER! She would have a mom who would smile more, a mom who would live a lot longer, a mom who wouldn't tell her, "sorry I am too exhausted to sit up and read with you" (yes, I really said that)! So I took charge and changed my mindset...NOT THE PERSON I WAS.

I love who I am, I am happy with who I am. I also love who I was because it made me appreciate who I am now. Everyone has their vices in life. You can't make anyone change...it is completely and utterly UP TO THEM!! Do I have things on my body I would like to "fix"..of course...when u are heavy for 14 years...and lose over 100 pounds there is ALOT of loose skin. But I don't want to do it for vanity purposes, its more because it is uncomfortable and an annoyance. I could even careless how I went from a 36D to a 34B...I would rather spend $45 on a great bra then $7000 on fake boobs, especially when that money can go to my daughters college education! I am not against cosmetic surgery, nor the people who decide to do it. Again, it is their own choice, no one can make it for them! But if you do it (cosmetic surgery)...own it. Don't try and pretend or act like you busted your ass to look that way. It's probably why I love Patricia Heaton, she owns it...she has no problem telling the world she has had work done...that is what makes the difference!

Well...I guess this is enough for now. I will keep doing my lunges and glute work to try and give myself an ass, I will continue to do cardio to lower my body fat and I will continue to be the person I always have been...NOT FOR YOU...BUT FOR ME!!! Keep loving yourself and be true to yourself...in the end it is all that matters anyway!! :)

The best ME day!!!

I had the best day today. Did alot of trail hiking and enjoyed a lunch by the river. Nothing like getting out of the city into the peaceful nature that is never too far!! I hate when I get caught up in this thing we called life...and forget all about the FREE things God has given us to enjoy everyday!! Today was a blessing!!

So...I had to get back on here!!!

So it has been a very long time since typing a blog! Especially one about myself and where my life is heading!! I was going to start a whole new page, but since I still am the BIONIC WOMAN and all this is a part of who I am...I am continuing on from here!!

So this is me!! I am in such an awesome place in my life right now! God has so richly blessed me!! At the end of July, I had some medical issues that came back w/ all negative results and I got things taken care of! To August, walking away from a dream/goal of mine. Then a month later, finally leaving by dream career in law enforecment. I was a mess, a complete and utter wreck. But over the weeks following all of those decisions and obstacles, God has restored me and shown that through all the hurt, heartache and trials...that He had the controls the entire time...He knew what He was doing...and what I thought was hell has turned into complete heaven!! All the stress and drama is gone...I wake up everyday enjoying my life, loving my daughter, knowing that each day is mine to take and make with it what I choose!! I TOOK MY LIFE BACK!!

So this is it...I am back to my training. It is going slow...but I already made strides in my cardio!! I am able to make it 15 miles on my bike before my entire left leg goes numb and I can go 35 mins on the elliptical!! That may not sound HUGE to you...but OMG...it is a milestone for me!! I got to start strength training again to...starting slow. I am not doing any Olympic lifting like I did in CrossFit (the reason why I took down all my lifting stats), but I am still doing CrossFit body weight work. After all I LOVE MY PUSHUPS!!! I have no desire to train and compete in the CF Games...it would literally wreck my body...I already had issues with my metal, and I never even made it to the intense part of training. And my LIVING my life is so much more important than that! I am going back to my triathlons...but will only be doing ones for charities, not competition. After all, its not about the competition for me anymore...me just finishing one again, is way more of an accomplishment than any 1st place trophy/medal could ever give to me!! When you are told more than once in your life that "You will NEVER walk again"...and you prove them wrong in such a BIG way...your view on things change!

In my blogs from now on, who will read about my life, my journeys, my training, but mostly importantly...you read about how only YOU can overcome YOU! You are your worst enemy, get best that and you are so many steps ahead of everyone else!!

Oh and one last thing...the one thing I have got to sit back and watch and laugh my butt off....KARMA...it always gets 'em...and I never have to say or do anything, they accomplish it all on their own! After all, you reap what you sow!